Went to the beach and make a bit of a cock of myself.
Lost my passport. Spent all my remaining cash getting a new passport. Then, found old passport. Felt like a bit of a twat.
Eva went to Bangkok. I flew to America. Tried to start a fight with the taxi driver, but I got cold feet when I remembered I'm a six-stone pale Englishman, so I sat quietly.
Went out in America and tried "cock-blocking" (stopping guys from chatting up girls, by being more interesting than them) but, as you might have realised, I was just making them look interesting.
Gave up and went and bought a laptop. Back on the internet looking at the underwear pages of the M&S website. Just like being at home. God, I miss Eva.
Change your mobile number, I'm coming back to the UK next week.
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